Bullets and Auguries...

A maverick transit,
Had swept away the illusions of my transgressions,
Condescending new found glory,
Shall wait in the monastery created for anticipation...

There comes the illusions of my innocence,
Made to survive amidst all these lecherous men,
Whilst my mind is devoid of life,
Arouses the return of promiscuous luck...

So short lived are these chuckles of forbidden humour,
The gust of glee,
The crescendo of that shenanigan that rests in the hands of fate,
Gift of god and the food of demons...

Behold, for the hunters and gatherers are here,
The nurturers have no reason to rejoice,
As we write music inspired by the clarion of our ancestors,
Because somewhere within you know you're intoxicated due to the void of passion...

Drop by drop,
The repercussions seemed to have arrived,
You have now succumbed to fatal generosity,
Shamed by the battles you refused to lose...

Painting by Vladimir Kush.

Faux Pas...

As midnight had opened its doors,
We entered the fortnight of denial,
Greeted by midgets of placidity,
That writhed in vain,
The entourage of illusions of prosperity...

Little percussions of euphoria,
Walks hopelessly in the clouds of treachery,
Witnessed by the solemn territory of our gait,
On this very nonchalant Earth,
Shelters the inhabitants that delude themselves for the spite of elevation...

In this very kingdom of appeal,
A flaw is the bastard child of the will of perfection,
Born with vain,
Borne within lies,
Glamorises the dark deeds of the living...

Peace is the truce of strain,
Complacent solace with the fire of mankind,
A sin left behind thrives to follow,
Until it rests in the cavern of the relative afterlife...

Painting by Vladimir Kush.

Shilpa Shetty and the bee

On one fine day, Shilpa Shetty had gone to the cosmetic surgeon to get a check up because ever since her nose job, every few days she was facing a problem. Any ways, the problem wasn't too major. But getting out of the house on a day when she was looking so supremely ugly wasn't easy since the new found fame after some weeping and anti- racism gyan she had put up and the IPL team she was starting and an ugly man she was marrying and yeah to summarize it all she was the new sexy thing on the block and the loving and obnoxious paparazzi that the celebrities claimed to hate but on a day like this when her nose wasn't looking so fine, a bad hair day and to make things worse she had a brand new pimple coming up. Dear god, what miseries she had in her life and with her very visible pimple who cares about the millions of people going hungry every day, or artificial intelligence, or corruption, her pimple and slightly crooked nose would make headlines. Some how the paparazzi were always round the corner with cameras in their hands, on other days it was an assurance that her new found fame wasn't lost but today it was a menace as this P.B.T ( pretty bland thing) didn't want the world to see her occasional ugly days.
She walked out of the hospital wearing a veil, trying to be careful so that the paparazzi wouldn't notice it was her. She walked into her car and driver saabh put madamji safely in the car.


She was on the road to home, where she was going to be hiding until her ugliness would get diluted for the world does not understand it is only human to have ugly days. She resented looking in the mirror and amidst all the terrible things she was going through, her car broke down. Oh the frustration, her driver was trying to fix her care. As she was contemplating suicide, she saw a bee and she hated arthropods except of coarse crabs but she was devoid of beautiful crab meat since her fitness vows. The bee was a male and male bee's get rather unfortunate treatment, just after they have mated that bitch of a queen bee falls on him and he dies and then goes to bee heaven and is acknowledged for his contribution to the bee population and "such as viscous nature" is the consolation he is offered. But for this lucky bastard of a male bee her set his eyes on the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and yes she happened to be Shilpa Shetty and his tiny brains couldn't see her ugly phase. Her was in love with her, her loved being in love with a different species all together. He wanted her but he knew the minute she would look at him. Anyways, her car finally got fixed and off she went while this poor chap was left to that female bitch of a bee and Shilpa Shetty went back to an even uglier husband.
Moral of the story- love is blind and karma is a bitch.

P.S- Please forgive this crap for wasting how many ever seconds it has wasted. Forgiveness for my instinct tells me I'm suffering from intellectual decay and good luck for life folks!

Alchoholics anonymous...

It's been ages since I've last been to Church. It's not my kind of place to go. Today was a weird day except that there was nothing weird about it. I guess being sober and having no booze within my bloodstream makes me feel weird. I crave for a smoke, but never mind I can wait for an hour or try to do so. I'm here to regain my virtues and I hope it's as easy as I think for it has been nearly half a decade since I've been zonked each day and I'm poor as piss and 'well wishers' say I still have the potential to make something of myself, oh well, what do they know. But in this world where there's an acute shortage of people who even try to love you, you might as well value those who do. Who am I? I'm James Bond,no I'm not. We never really know in this vast universe. Wit, who am I? Umm, I'm just a boozed out person trying to sort my life out. So I am now going to a support group for alcoholics and they irony is that the group sessions are held in a church.

They grey pallor of the church was adding more glum to my alcohol free day. As I entered the doors of the church I saw that there was an array of support groups and rehabilitation centres and the sessions were different rooms, they had to be, too many strange people makes the place even weirder, you see.

Quaintly insane, just plain ( support group for mediocrity), Woman with tiny bosoms, Men who need a brassiere, virtual world addicts, simply depressed, She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie, Cocaine ( a support group for coke addicts), A butt for a nut ( a support group for bad rappers), Don't treasure the visual pleasure ( quit porn) and then amidst all this ruckus there it was, 'Alcoholics Anonymous'.

I entered a gloomy and dingy room, a bit like school. A black board, chalk, benches but only here everyone was discussing what we would have loved to discuss in school, booze. The room was almost full, booze is after all a perfect escaped. I came in at 17 hours and at exactly 17 hours and 1 minute man tallish guy with a salt and pepper beard walked in and he asked us why exactly we drank, many people had their sob stories to tell and they were almost all the same. He then started talking about life and how much of a life is. I was getting bored as hell. All of these people seemed so interested in what he was saying, to me all his philosophy very rehearsed. Everyone seemed so interested, everyone except one, I'm surprised I didn't notice her, she was so noticeable. Her dulled expression, fat body, her bright yellow floral dress, she had a very pronounced double chin, women don't have the great Morrison hottie technique of growing a beard once you get a double chin so when a woman gets a double chin, it is very prominent but even with a beard, you can dilute it but it can't be hidden. One hour passed and by the end of it my arse was numb and my tail bone or coccyx was hurting, I managed to sit for one hour and had almost a day without booze was killing me, yes, I pretty much know what I'm going to do when I get home, hey the process of regaining ones virtues is slow. Finally the session was over, huh, sigh of relief.

As I walked out of the high church doors dusk had already settle, the poetic night was peeping at us through the ashen clouds. It was going to rain and the landscape was waiting to embrace those fierce drops. Oh, how these days go, it's a shame that this day had to end so fast. The trees were praying to the spirits of the sky. Life was slowing down, I could do feel it. Any ways, I was getting a bus back home and as I was waiting for a bus the same woman who was sitting in my support session came, yes the fat woman with the double chin, I don't want to call her that but I don't know her name and we humans are a prejudiced breed. She smiled at me and I must say she has such a warm smile for a messed up person. We were waiting for the bus and then she asked me what I think about life. " I have nothing much to say about it, because if I did I wouldn't be here," I said. "So why are you here?'' she asked. " Well, I started drinking when I was four but it became a habit when I was twenty," I said. " Haa, you took sixteen years to make it a habit and you started drinking when you were four, damn, you're a juvenile scam," she said. Her words were scornful but even then I felt this bond with her, the kind of bond I haven't felt for a long time. " Why did you start drinking?" I asked her. "Well, I needed to go on a diet to get a fab midriff, so I went on an all booze diet," she said. "Seriously?" I asked. " Nope, you actually believed , me, I drank because I wanted to drink and that's the truth with most of us out here, I mean we drink because we drink and that's the blatant truth in life, we do things because we want to do thing," she said. I actually believed the booze diet part because people do go on insane diets these days, it's like they reveal their inner insanity in the form of their diets and about the we spin our own fate part, unfortunately it's true. So if you're in a shit position just remember you reap just what you sow, but indeed, karma is a bitch. " So, what do you think about life," she asked me, she's lame. " Well, I have nothing much to say about it and why do you ask," I asked her. " Well nothing, it's just that here we are wasting our lives and there are people who over achieve through, their life. It's like people talk about how chimerical life is and I have always found it a drag. I want to be here but I always feel I'm not quite here," she said. " Well life could be all about a coincidence gone right or wrong but yes the good question is where did it all start and that's when the question of god comes about," I said. It had been a long time since I had indulged in intellectualism or rather pseudo intellectualism with someone other than myself.
" You're addicted to substance and therefore I hope you have good imagination," she said. "Well it's quite the contrary, because as you gulp down the booze, you're neurons become loose,'' I said. " I have a feeling a woman was the one who started the universe,'' she said. " And why do you think so," I said. " Well, researchers say that the evolution of a male was just a co-incidence,'' she said. Sweet co-incidence I thought to myself, a co-incidence gone right. " Yes, but you always need a sperm to fertilize an egg," I said. " True but you're in a uterus for the first nine months of your life and the first nine months of your life may not seem like anything but those nine months decide your basic facial structure and the first nine months is what makes the phenomenon called you," she said. " Go on", I said. " Now picture this she said, a woman, the mother of all, I shall let her go unnamed, a beautiful and strong woman, god saw and he decided he wanted her and after a lot of wooing he finally got her and on one fine time they made love and god planted his seed in her, her egg and his sperm united to form a zygote and then there was a hyper- nova in her uterus, what we call the big bang theory, so I guess we call it the big bang theory for a reason or it's a co-incidence. Anyways that zygote was the beginning of the universe and now she's still pregnant with a fetus called the universe," she said. " Wow, she's been knocked up for a long time, when will she give birth?" I asked. " The universe is still growing and she might be giving birth anytime soon, after all there have been talks of apocalypse," she said. " So in other words, you could say every birth of a child comes with the faithful promise of death," I said. " Yes, it's a fact," she said. I was enthralled by her lame cliche philosophy and just then my bus arrived, we parted ways from there.

When I reached my bus stop the night had already settled and now I was walking home. Yes, the day was over but I realized it was my day. So as I walked by the array of street lights that were there to have mercy on us human mortals who have this inability to see in the dark I thought about what I wanted to do tomorrow but then tomorrow is another day and a day well spent is quite the day.

Purgatory...

Our wishful thinking was gone,
Just a jiffy before dawn,
Then merry acquaintances bid us condolence for those wasted dreams,
It just shreds a gullible bud and morphs her into a siren,
Oh, an arousing image I see,
But the other side is darker,
You've juts witnessed a wee bit of a prick of penury,
Cheers to apparent strength when you're impaled...

It's not your union I despise,
It's just that I'm rolling in the revelry of a desolated street,
The people of the street,
Fight for survival,
Crave for love,
Sex,
Victory,
Luxury.

The parasites of chaos differ a whole lot,
They sway within another life's dream,
The dignity of a shadow that was never theirs to claim,
These rodents are too weak to cry,
So they bond with silence,
Preparation for an afterlife embodies a life,
A macabre cloak is what we swear by...

With a pure birth,
Life just leaves us to expect that we shall be impure on a day to come,
You were born to serve civilisation,
Today you mock the purpose for you've now discovered yourself,
But now I feel death fondle me,
Bitter luck and holy acceptances,
Within the labyrinth of my uterine vengeance...

Children of love,
Oh holy mother so divine,
A generation of hunger,
You fill the pores of redemption,
The alter shall be laid,
For my conscience and I have wed against our will,
Quaint love is left ashamed by my notoriety,
A philistine bud shall bloom in my absence...

I purse my lips,
Wicked words are about to emerge,
My lifespan is saturated with nasty luck,
I clasp my hands,
Listen to a wise man's words,
I empty the coins of mediocrity,
Lucidity fails to bear me solace...

( Painting by MF. Hussain)

Groupie of Passion...

As I saw raw passion that emerged from the fog,
A hypnotic voice so fine,
The finesse of the atmosphere seems to have embraced me,
While women groove to fertility,
Men awoke to morning wood,
Stars had gone to spread their glimmer some place else,
Because we had enough glimmer here,
Light heals,
Heals the hormones of stress,
Heals the turmoil of failure,
Heals the scars of pain,
Heals the warts of herpes,
We're here to love each other until the pain fades,
Because noble men have told me,
Loud and clear!
"Some day these consecutive days shall end!"
Where has the free love gone?
We're all Casanova's for a good day,
But today the nugatory philosophy and rough introspection shall halt,
We moan in bliss and sing until the worlds end,
As the wits of love are weak now,
It's just you left to charm yourself into a delusional slumber...

Pubescent mojo..

I've often wondered, what makes a person hot? In the world of glitz we see so many human blow up dolls trying to be hot or another doll-like stud trying to be hot. They just don't do it right, it's like that perfect ingredient is missing. That immense mojo comes from within but very few get it right. It really is all about poise and if you try too hard then you shall fail yourself like a zeppelin make of lead (By the way that's where the origin of the name of Led Zeppelin, or so I've been told) . One does not have to be good looking to be hot, take Quentin Tarantino or Ted Hughes, very misshapen men but so sexy. Bruce Willis is bald and yet so hot and there are so many more and yet there are so many exceptionally good looking people who don't have an ounce of swagger. But then again it's all relative. It does contribute if one is well read, nice looking ( again that's not an omnipresent factor when it concerns sex appeal), that immense machismo, clever, good play with words, that lurking olfactory tease, voice, eyes, passion, good hygiene, dignity, chauvinism proof, jerk proof, confidence( helps big time) dresses well, a bit notorious ( yes, the stereotyped bad boy/ is what I'm talking about), good taste in books, music, cinema, ambition a sense of mystery and all these together but yes poise is the most important thing because as I said earlier try too hard and you might just end up being a malicious narcissist. But I believe everyone has potential mojo that matures with age, the art is in embracing that immense potential mojo you have and don't say you don't because you were born to be sexy and all us homo sapiens were born to be sexy and if you think you aren't then I say you spent too much time thinking, don't think too much about yourself sweetheart.

Web of lies...

One- third of a kiss,
For a weekend of bliss,
One-fourth of your dream,
To seal the deal,
A little bit of life,
Just to soothe a juvenile mind,

To morn woke us with the responsibility we never chose to partake,
An opulent reason to slouch,
Scarred inspiration that impaled our vain,
As we run from the perfectionist dictatorship,
You're never too old to run...

So what does it take,
To go from Satan's derriere to Cupid companion,
But then again we're unique designs of nasty tapestry,
Sloshed by the lies we've spun,
We preserve actual kisses in a nebulous womb...

Right from a withered mire,
Born beneath the prophecy of untamed fire,
Lies that have conceived tears,
The elitist fancies that have masked our mysterious shenanigans,
Mascara to mask the clarion of fury within us....

Isolation has created a triumph new world,
A little star of inception,
Wicked icicles that fall upon us just before we have usurped our right to passage,
My stormy mind fails to glean the dream,
Sanity brings laughter right along to soothe my repentance...

The darkest of nights,
Within the deepest of shells,
The reminisce of yet another illusion,
The temporal of dreams,
Backfired when you never predicted you'd need to brace yourself....

I snort the winds of sleep,
I stay lost in a momentary lachrymal song,
Alert not to fall prey to labial seduction,
Melancholy entered my kraal and disturbed my placidity,
So as they say, kudos to fate...

( Edward Munch- Ashes)

Hello darkness, my old friend

Them smart alecks who said adolescence was a difficult were absolutely right, its just that me being within my jolly bubble just didn't want to listen to them. Recent events have being tiring and difficult and they make me wonder if things will ever get better and I am referring to more than just teenage angst. Why does the storm need top present itself to me when it is least wanted? I wonder why I feel so lonely all of a sudden, no wait I know why I feel so lonely. I am strange and that's what I''ll be forever and I soon shall get comfortably numb about that and meet other people ( hopefully) who are comfortably numb themselves about their eccentricity. But being a quirky person it a very straight forward and hostile environment can be strange and I really do not want to change the way I am. Is it this generation who's so obsessed with their I-pads and BBM's or is just that this is the way things roll or the spirit of this city or is it that I'm not much of a zeitgeist?

I need and need as much as a coke addict needs periodical snorts, to do something new, something worthwhile, go places, not be so bored, not be dead tired at 22 hours and 50 minutesbecause ever since the 15th of March, the last day of school I've pretty much haven't been a part of civilisation or more so the civilisation I'd like to be with. It's a blatant hormone over-secretion ( not scientifically) engulfed phase of life. I really want my kind of company. I need to something significant, but significance is a state of mind, ain't it? Oh well and till then hello darkness my old friend, I've come to talk to you again.

Bounds of art?

The painting above is the so called controversial painting by M.F. Hussain. This is the painting that got those hypocrites flaring. It shows the class they lack. I mean what about honouring the beauty of Khajuraho which honours nudity. This is the representation of Earth which is supposed to be free, youthful and nude. I love this painting, look at the dynamism of it. He's produce so many prodigious paintings. It's like you give god a brush and he paints and the god here is M.F Hussain. Rest in peace.

Waves...

There was this little corner of our minds,
Where we laugh about the anecdotes of dawn,
Where we could cry faded tears,
Make plans for the morn,
Transmit our fears,
So far with a song...

Those waves of eternity,
Calls for riddles,
I saw the mirage of a dream,
While walking a stark path,
As strong as fire,
As ferocious as pain...

Ugly as decay,
As we walked through the horizon of wicked plans,
Within the pockets of evil,
As I suggest,
"Lets be reborn," "Lets be reborn!"
But it won't be as merry as you think...

A coniferous plan,
He matched our hearts,
The dice of destiny in both hands,
For reasons I can't quite enunciate,
I find comfort in turmoil...

The beauty of spring,
Fail to ward away the evil of our minds,
For we were the ones blessed with unconventional fate,
That dances within the ashen clouds of anticipation,
While we sway within our blissful cacoon,
Contemplating how to wash away our sins...

( Painting by Frida Kahlo)

The midnight oil...

We walked amazed by haze,
Ready to win the battle we formerly lost,
Now as I unravel the real warrior,
The lie begins to show...

A pure mockery,
Harmony embraces acceptance,
Now lets cajole rigidity with intoxicating words,
I hereby unite with another gruesome story...

Is the flare hidden,
Or do we fail to glow?
But I assure you shall be illuminated,
After you clean the surface...

Now as the secrets are revealed,
We speak the unspoken ,
We burst the bubbles of our virtues,
Now the spirits have woken...

Now let your mind project,
The illusions of the burnt midnight oil,
The mirror shall always be a reflection of your horse-shoe smile,
Stirring of vacant laughter rings scornful bells...

For in a decade we thaw this frozen seduction,
You shall then hear the bustle of this sirens stilettos,
You shall feel the passion of her Aphrodian dreams,
So oblivious of that little slip...

For its just one right of passage,
That shields you from brutal crossroads,
So we can mock the shadows of loss,
Welcome the ghosts of a dead dream into the chambers of denial...

A numb veil,
Shall accompany me to the furnace of my identity,
Waiting to tantalise me to a different time,
There goes the otherwise tempestuous focus....

( Painting by Edward Munch)

Nebula...

Starlets live in the midst of stardom,
Those hollow lights of wisdom,
Dreams born out of wedlock,
Now, we've got just the reflection to mock...

Those love affairs I've had with the phases,
Those momentary blazes,
It's in the air,
Waiting to emerge from fates own stairs...

The brutal highways,
So frayed is love which is my way,
The passion of the Equator,
The statue that pricked the creator...

Handwritten inscriptions of love,
Engravement is the ultimate lust,
Dust that spells the name of the forgotten,
Grief that drifted away for good into the horizon...

Picture from the net _ ( hesperia.gsfc.nasa.gov)

The fur buddies

We are the most intelligent species but we should learn more from our fur friends. That unconditional love you feel with them, they'll give you a whole new experience of love and happiness. I love dogs too but I have literally grown up with cats and I'm still coping with the grief of losing my handsome big pawed warrior. It's like the loss of a very special friend. Cats tend to have a lot of style, damn I so feel the need of an outdoor kitty, but it's too soon and you can't just replace a void you've been feeling with another cute cat. But if I had one animal avatar it would be or at least I'd want it to be our very own Felis Domestica. The way they just make their way into your heart. Now I've done a little personality analyzation ( yes, it's juvenile)-

• Persian - Snoot and cute!
  
• Black cat- Super sexy and svelte, my first cats long term boyfriend.
• British longhair- just seen one on TV but they look like snoots too but I'd just like to cuddle one.
• Birman- curious.
• Van Cat (The most commonly seen cat)- I'm going to be partial here- simply amazing.
• Tabby Cat- Ditto.
• White cats- overrated, much like the fair skin obsession.
• Donskoy cat- Not much of a looker but then has its own elegance.

5 stages until overall glee...

There are five stages of grief- Denial and isolation, Anger, Bargaining,Depression and at last the very necessary, holy acceptance. Acceptance is the only stage that makes us move on with life without the precious thing we've lost but whether you like it or not and whether you want it or not, you will go through these five stages of painful grief if you lose some one you love. But how fast you get to the fifth stage depends on you, I'd recommend distracting yourself and looking at the positive side. For if that person/pet has left you grieving that means they've lived a good life. The fact it that love is selfish and now you're grieving for your own loss but the dead now are in another state of peace. Grief can be about anything, the death of a person, the death of a pet, the death of a dream, etcetera . The tact remains in how you handle it.

Death is a part of life, if you're born you will die. The end is a new beginning. The fact of the matter is that mass is preoccupied and the mass that you have now won't be yours forever, because there will be a time that you will go back to the Earth, be a part of the humus, you'll be one with the mud. You aren't yours forever but you're yours during your very versatile lifespan. As I once heard this very nice quote in a movie whose name I can't quite recollect " We are born naked, we die empty handed, what lies in between is creativity." It's really what you're doing now. If there was no death then there will be no life, no creation, immortality will wipe of the growth of a species. On the other hand life can be hard but has its own comfortable barriers and even if a little part of that barrier is disturbed then it shall lead to the 5 very painful but necessary stages of grief. I can now say, life has its own ways of making you comfortable in times of utter discomfort. But as much as you want to stay within those blissful barriers some one within that barrier shall meet that fateful day and one day that some one will be you. The reason I'm speaking like this is because I just lost my very handsome outdoor cat Cynthia ( I thought he was a female cat at first) and yes I still have my pretty indoor cat but I still miss my outdoor cat. I think I am now between the fourth and fifth stage of grief. If heaven is real that's where he's going but his soul any ways is going to rest in peace because he was such a good natured cat and true good things happen to good people. It's times like these when you let go of your very rational principles of life and believe in things like heaven and a very happy afterlife but he deserves it, he was a fighter and yes he will be missed. He was a super hero.

Now, you're very comfortable barrier has been broken and entered and there's a clear gap that has been left and there's nothing except a memory left to fill that empty space but grief is building you're array of memories that is filling this gap. Now what do you do? You want to fill that gap, your want that thing back but you know it's disgraceful for things to come back from the dead. You feel alone, but you know its only you because the very soul rests in peace and has found its place, it's gone back to its creator and is ultimately free. I say don't let life slip away, be kind, be passionate, love with all your heart, laugh, have faith, watch this world around you because nature is viscous as much as it is beautiful, give back, create, grieve when you have to because it means you have the ability to love something beyond yourself. But for now accept those five stages of grief, go with it, try to do good have faith, try to be happy, send out a prayer to the universe because it's only those 5 stages until overall glee, that's is if you're a generally happy person but if you're not than you're disgracing the gift of life, so be happy when you can.

P.S- Rest in peace, love you for now and forever...

Walk of life...

He watched his sanctum mind,
While he was trapped in an abrasive song,
He walked to correct time,
The solemn mystery of the fog...

He wanted to correct the tangibility of a dream,
Dust of obstacles differs from the dust of love,
His actions jinxed his breed,
His path consists of spontaneous rust...

Now why would some one wait,
When they know about the bitter shards they've sown?
Will you mock fate,
Or will you wait for the unravel of the road...

I shall sojourn in this bitter sea,
In the quest to bids farewell,
To part ways with that lost dream,
In the land of love I believe I dwell...

Rules by fools...

I can't quite take the bounds of life,
It feels like a puppet marching to the creation of rules by egoistic fools,
I want to create a rebellion,
Unfortunately the rebellion requires deceiving assimilation.

Baby don't be a snoot,
For the challenge requires a versatile actor,
Or else you'll be fed the ashes of the last resort,
Enter the remise of your words,
For only your regrets shall reign over you.

I was never as dazed as I am today,
These dangerous waters with viscous reptiles,
Hounding me for the lack of satisfaction,
Cursing me for the sands of an eccentric shade...

Fools that happen to have the paper of my fate,
But the fact of the matter is that paper's always mine,
As apparent as the curse of being insane,
So yet again, do I vain for vain or instinct?

Deny, deny, deny...

Deny your existence,
For this deception has been your doing,
For we're all too rigid to accept,
So you disappear in the hypnotic mist...

Where is your veil of grace today?
Have you been acid dropping your way to glory?
You induce intimidation,
By thunderous seduction...

Where is that unctuous vain?
These tainted expectations,
So, will you put up a fight,
Or part ways with your dreams.

So is your whimsical smirk put away?
You're wearing the beads of whinge?
You stand on the temporal of shit,
Falling into worse...

So when you're despised upon,
Will you be embraced by the song of fog,
Or twirl by tainted dreams ,
Or sculpt new ones?

The Great fire of London...

The skies blushed in crimson with passion,
There dreams were shattered but still moist,
Their homes escaped into the cauldron of destruction,
Does this fire flare to unite?

Destruction had crossed the parameters of peace,
The fire laughed at their misery,
Created immortality with ease,
The mockery of itself is a mystery...

Seize this land,
With great heat I could,
I'm not sure you'd understand,
I'm just not that good...

How would you imbibe fear,
Love so Aphrodisiac,
It would create tears..

But as you fear,
I devour you homes,
The ghost is neat,
Unless it's there in your soul...

Lost of soul and the integrity of chaos

The post board period is a lot different than I had imagined it to be. I still remember how much I was craving for some free time when my boards were on. It is indeed a stressful period and at that point it feels like the you have a very complete structure that's going to crash soon and the entire world depends on what you write. I remember feeling the sense of relief once my last paper or rather my second last paper which is the toughest. During the pre- board days I thought the post board days will be just perfect. I thought I could be in a reverie through out the day and write these amazing stories, I thought I could watch a lot of TV, I thought I could read a book all day and basically be so happy in that state of sloth. All of these have happened except I'm not in a reverie and I find that I can't write. So yes, the post board days are simply beautiful and this sense of sloth is a much needed break but having all the time in the world is not the best thing. The post board sense of sloth is not as great as I'd imagine it to be. So I've come to a conclusion ( it's high time I did) - you never understand the complete situation until you're there and chaos is inspiration. A simple example, I thought my post board time was going to be lovely and now that I'm pretty much at home in a complete state of sloth not amidst the chaos of the world I just can't write and now sometimes, it's even though to think, why- there's not chaos in this momentary idle life of mine. Take a position people envy, a socialite who is a heir to an empire and great amounts of wealth, who can own a condo in every continent or for that matter every country, who can afford the most expensive Chevy, Merc, BMW, Rolls Royce, Fords or Limo in the world, who is invited to every royal wedding, who can live a very extravagant and lavish life on the money. But then again their respect is like a domino, when one wrong thing is exposed the other can of worms is opened and it's tough to find true love in this position. It's easy to get tempted when in a position of power or forget the position of power, it is always difficult to curb lust and maybe power is not what you truly want but if it is than that's what you fight for. As for chaos, personally I think chaos is what you need because if you're not amidst chaos then it means you're jaded. Chaos is what the universe is about, chaos integrates. That's why we're many and the formation of the world was due to chaos. A chaotic mind is great to have until you reach a point of saturation. Maybe if you're not there then that's not what you really wanted, but I say lets put up a fight. So lets be satisfied but always want more and as for the future lets do what we can and leave the rest up to chaos.